Monday, September 29, 2014

How did I get so many tires...

I hate building cars.  Mainly because, I build crappy cars.  I mean I really stink at it. No offence to the LEGO car building community.  You LUGNUT people, don't come hunting me down or pointing out my differing personal views or potshotting me into oblivion.   I'm impressed at your ability.

News at 11...
I don't generally buy sets with cars.  I guess there's been one or two in the sets I've gotten.  I don't pay attention to the vehicles that have wheels, unless those wheels make good engines.  I usually bricklink those.  So where the heck did two thirty gallon tubs of tires come from?

If my house burned down they'd have choppers circling pointing out the tires on fire.

So I don't get it, how has this potential environmental menace built up?  Here's some thoughts:

  1. Tires reproduce.  You stick them in a bin and they make baby tires.  (look at the bottom of your tire bin and look, LITTLE BABY TIRES.)
  2. Tires are fungal in nature.
  3. I have a portal the the Tireverse hiding in my tire bin.

Here's why tires are aggravating:

  1. The aforementioned odor associated with my car building...
  2. Smudges on bricks in a new set.
  3. WHY CAN I ONLY FIND THREE TIRES THAT MATCH?! *RAGE QUIT*

Here's what LEGO does to make tires the bane of my existence?

  1.  Nothing really I'm just Old Grey  
  2. "We have 57 types of tires, but here is our new standard"   "We have 58 types of tires, but..." like ever year.
  3. Ok there's cars in every set I buy outside of space.  Geez Louise! most of the Galaxy Squad has tires.  


OK... I use tires more than I care to admit.  OK... I'm the poster child of using wheel hubs and plastic wheels as engines.  OK... I admit that I got some really fancy big tires one time from LEGO.  We could order a parts pull after we did our LEGO set back in '06 as a reward.  I put some big dang tires on there... and ordered the wrong hubs to match.  OK... I admit I bought some Znap yellow wheel things and never used them.

I'm fairly unsavory to some.  Heck I have folks who hate me.  Unfortunately I return the favor to some as well.  I'm a piece with a purpose, and so are they.  Created with a purpose to be used by the Creator.  They're in the same system as me.  They're not evil Megablocks... So, I guess these stupid tires aren't so bad.

Here's the reality with me and tires...

1)
  THE MEGA CORE MAGNETIZER IS AWESOME 
 2)
MY FIRST SPACE SET HAD TIRES!
3)

 MY FAVORITE LEGO SPACE SET IS A WHEELED VEHICLE.


FINE.  I don't HATE LEGO tires.  I do hate scraping around in those tire bins though.  Feels like I'm stirring a bucket of prunes.

I just noticed how many LEGO RUBBER TREADS I have... RUN FOR THE HILLS FOLKS!







Friday, September 12, 2014

The more than magical TRU...

Stardate 1987ish - 2002 Age 18-30ish

John Cougar Mellencamp... or John Cougar... or "Juh" as Weird Al predicted he'd soon be called, wrote the song Small Town without visiting the fair burg of Warrenton, GA.  However, he described it to a tee.  I can breathe in a small town.

It was exciting enough going monthly to Augusta and seeing traffic lights.  (You think I'm lying there was no traffic light in Warrenton when I was young, now they have a whopping 2).  Also you could get fast food that was widely available in other regions of the country and advertised on television.  They did not, however, have stations that pumped the gas for you.  Augusta also had in early days the glory of the Toy Box toy store, then the short lived and annoyingly advertised TON'S OF TOYS store.  Finally Augusta got a Toys R Us, and it was a great place in the mid 80's to see orange price stickered boxes of plastic joy.
You boys know that's
 violatin' yer probation!

The  ultimate trip came when you went to CAPTIAL CITY as them Duke boys referred to it.  Terminus. The ATL. The City of...ATLANTA.  When I graduated highschool in 1989 I headed off to Georgia Tech to achieve my diploma in graduating.  On I-20, just inside the perimeter, a brown topped, pearly white stalwart stood...  the Southeast Atlanta Toys R Us. It had been in operation since who knows when.  Carbon dating of the chipped linoleum puts it being built somewhere close to the Apostle Paul's 12th birthday.

There were only a few times in the mid 80's when I would get to stop here.  Mainly, my good friend Jeremy and I would hit the Augusta one.  We went in his mom's station wagon or late '80's Bonneville until I was 16.   I'd drag him over there after rambling through the KB toys (and finding nothing), going to BOTH record stores, and hitting the food court for Chick Fil A.  I loved those days.  But, when I started going to college in Atlanta, I'd always pull off the interstate on my Friday trips home. This more than magical Toys R Us.   There I could be Teen Fan of Lego and no one knew me. I loved those days.

Having a bit of age on it, a large nerdless population surrounding it, and big mall beside it, this Toys R Us was a magical portal of a decade of the brick.  I remember in 1989 being able to find sets from the early '80s.   Classic classics shoved back in the shelves and forgotten.  OH THE BRICK I GOT... and the Classic Space Fig packs.  Dang.

Tyco phone, the Mega of the '80s.
Today LEGO is in the front aisle at Toys R Us with pride and signs hanging from the ceiling.  Back then it was stuin the back on the isle opposite the preschool toys.  *shudder* I still feel the icy stare of Bert and Ernie as they cast judgement upon me whilst I drooled over the Futuron Monorail.  My secret obsession with the brick was deep. I even pondered the traitorous act that was "paying $50 bucks for the Tyco brick phone."  They had it in the glass case.  You know the one.  I looked at it with cartoon angel on one shoulder and a trident carrying devil on the other.  Don't give in, it's evil.

Week after week I went by.  After the early years of college, LEGO stayed with me but I stopped less and less at the Toys R Us.  Mostly because I didn't go home as much, some because I didn't have the time to imagine and build the possibilities I wanted.  I went there for the Ice Planet line, and I think I got some Unitron there.  But, by that time there were other places to shop, other duties calling me, and the Creator had shown me in '94 what my life was being built into.

Years past.  I graduated in '94.  I left to be a missionary for the summer, took a job in my small town church, and then left to go to seminary in 1996.  In 2000 we moved to Northwest Georgia, but I never rarely stopped back by. There was a Lego Outlet store in my state then.

They don't make em like this anymore.
I went back one last time in 2002.   It was dying.  That magical place was being shuttered and a new Toys R Us would replace it.  It would have a shiner building near a shiner mall.  I had read about it in the paper, it was discounting everything, save, save, save.  I stepped in one last time.  The air curtain of FOOSHING hit me as I walked in the sliding doors.   So much LEGO remained.  It wasn't a funeral, but a wake.  I feasted.

First run X-wings for 7 bucks? Yes please!  Would you like a side of $12 Y-wings with Darth TIEs?  Sure, if I must.

I've been to the new shiny place.  I can still find a deal or two there when I get the chance.  But, there is some magic gone.  Experiences fade, however I still have those bricks.  Our emotion about something can waver, but the substance of what we have remains.  I pine for the feeling I had as a nerdy teen finding his way to self acceptance, but I now know my Creator and his crafting.  I'm the better for them both.  Now I can accomplish the dreams of the past with the experience gained until now.

Today I can breathe in a Medium town.  It's where I live.  Rome, Georgia.   I can breathe. I even have a small Toys R Us here.  Not as magical, but the brick and possibilities still remain.  I have my own little nerd to take in with me.  Never to have shame at the bliss of his budding nerdness, and free to ignore clone brands as directed.

Yeah, I'm still glad I didn't get the Tyco Phone.  My son would never trust me again.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Lego is...




  1. The struggle for HOURS to make something, rage quitting, then waking up in the morning and solving it in 5 minutes.
  2. Math, and math is hard
  3. SNOT rules that you play like Munchkin card bonuses in a fight.
  4. Picking apart an old creation for a new one, because you don't want to sort.
  5. Depressing when your white bricks are yellow.  (unless you're awesome and use them)
  6. Ignoring the growing unsorted bucket.
  7. Shopping for a part on bricklink because of the unsorted bucket
  8. Calculating if you can sell the figs and keep the bricks and break even (at least)
  9. Wondering where the secret cameras were when they recorded you as a basis for Benny.
  10. Amazing when something works accidentally and everyone thinks you're super creative.
  11. Getting those OH MY G O S H  THOUGHT OF YOU  posts on Facebook because you're the Lego guy (and that's cool, it's better that getting the LEGO Church email constantly +2 to that roll because I'm a minister).
  12. Still courtesy laughing at the "stepping on a LEGO" joke because at least someone knows about your hobby.
  13. Finally getting on the roll of building sometime in the middle of the night when you have work in the morning.